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I was recently fortunate to spend a week working with some Afghan tribal elders. Each day I met with a number of them. Whenever a larger group gathered the meeting was called a Shura and as I sat amongst these meetings I was able to spend a little time observing the practice of social pleasanteries which are sadly fading in many business meetings.
On arrival at each Shura we would always be met by the host, and indeed every other participant. The greeting was important as a means of establishing the nature of the Shura, but crucially to me, as an outsider, as a means of putting me at my ease while allowing me to learn who everybody was. How much better this made me feel than a typical welcome at a recent British meeting I recently attended. As I entered the room few looked up from their Blackberries to recognise the latest arrival, fewer spoke to offer a welcome and nobody offered a handshake. If relationships are so critical in all business, are we now so busy that we can no longer practice an open welcome.
Although there is a clear precedence within tribal elders. Everybody was given the opportunity to speak, often invited to do so. Speakers were listened to attentively, questioned properly and accorded respect for their point. Whether it is always the case or not, I never saw anybody interuppted.
Everybody was given room to sit and as we spoke, cups of tea were provided throughout the room. Hosts poured for guests and neighbours for one another. How often do we offer the refreshments around a meeting room?
Different cultures and events require different styles of meeting I know, and this short piece does not advocate the Shura as the only solution. It has, however, sought to remind us that business is the actions of people and it is most successful when those people are recognised for their values. Social niceties are not an unnecessary add on, but are instead a key piece of your work to shape relationships, build trust and respect and to help you be successful. Let's use 2010 as the year to make sure we think about those we work with as well as the task we face.
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